Chicks With Bics

Product developers and advertisers are always looking for an "in" when it comes to gaining a foothold in various consumer demographics. Gender is an important component in that search. Or should we say gender separation, because the push for product identity can often equate with sexual identity. Sometimes it comes across favorably, such as Secret deodorant being "strong enough for a man, but made for a woman." Sometimes it receives mixed acceptance, as proven with Dr. Pepper 10, the diet soda for men.

Some products can leave a person scratching their head wondering if the actual value of the item outweighs the obvious pandering that it's better for one sex over the other. For example, tools. Not just hand tools, but power tools, as well. Creating something, say a screwdriver or a cordless drill, and selling it as a product "for women" because it's made to fit a smaller hand can be insulting not only to men with small hands but to women who have man hands. One should have a large collection of tools that are size-relevant to the project being worked on. Small project = small tools. Sex should only become relevant if you're fixing something as a favor to your spouse.

Razors are another product that come in his/hers styles. Granted, men and women may have different shaving needs (frequency, hair thickness, location), but aside from minor tweaks in design for shaving angle, a razor is a razor. In fact, research done by Schick showed a majority of women used razors "designed" for men. Nonetheless, companies like Schick, Gillette and Bic market the product for both sexes because men don't need* a razor on their upper lip if it vibrates, and women don't want to drag something called a Mach 3 along their crotch if it doesn't. (*Not that we men don't want one. We just don't need one.)

Occasionally, a product hits the market that makes you wonder if someone took a joke too far in the Product Development Department, or if some senior V.P. in charge of said P.D. challenged his people (stand down ladies, you know it's a guy) to push the envelope. The edge of this envelope is where I believe the ebb and flow of unemployment rates exists between product designers and public relations staff.

*Batteries not included

Not too long ago, Bic introduced the "Cristal for Her" ball point pen. Here is the product description as listed on Amazon:

"BIC Cristal For Her has an elegant design - just for Her! It features a thin barrel designed to fit a woman's hand. It has a diamond engraved barrel for an elegant and unique feminine style."

In reading through the 1,495 (and counting) customer reviews on Amazon - (Ed. note: Yes, we did.) - there was a noticeable change in the tenor of the comments. Initial reviews were on-point product evaluations regarding design and functionality. But as one would expect, once you add a clown, you create a circus. That big top went up on August 15, 2012, with a review that ended with the line, "AT LAST! Bic, the great liberator, has released a womanly pen that my gentle baby hands can use without fear of unlady-like callouses and bruises. Thank you, Bic!" And with that, an onslaught of prose ensued containing sarcastic wit at levels this blog always aspires to achieve. Grainiums had to share some of the more entertaining ones with you and crown a winner. (Another Ed. note: reviewers' identities have been withheld.)

"I can't find a switch to turn it on, and it didn't come with batteries. This is not the "for her" product I was expecting. At all."

"I needed that little something extra to complete that elusive feminine aura when I'm wearing my wife's clothing in public."

"I bought these for my wife, hoping to add some spice in our marriage for valentines day. Then she had the audacity to use it for our divorce papers."

"...I'm only giving two stars...For one thing, they dot every "i" with a little heart. They also won't make periods at the ends of sentences; it's a question mark or an exclamation point every time... Secondly, they insert "like" and "um" randomly through whatever it is you're writing..."

"First of all I'm a male. I picked a pink one up by mistake to write a quick note... Next thing I know I'm sitting down to take a pee."

"I thought that certainly a pen made especially for women would also include instructions on what words to write when one is holding it...This is very frustrating. I suppose I shall just make up names for my future husband and draw castles. It's really all the thing is useful for."

"I noticed that these are in the office and school supply section. You might want to set them in the cooking/cleaning section so that women can find them."

"Clearly I picked up the wrong pen. I have begun asking for directions and even gave back my neighbor's belt sander. I need a hug."

"These are great pens, but I'm still holding out for a pen made for us left-handed women. Some day, Bic, please!"

"My husband used this to do our taxes and now he has sore breasts."

"Will these pens make my ass look larger? If they do, I will come back and change my review to 4 stars."

"It's nice to get a Bic that fits in your hand so nicely and doesn't leak or blow all over your clothes or hand before you're finished."

To help us avoid placing a "for her" label on this blog post, we stayed away from the expected red-pen-leakage, heavy-writing-day, and monthly-hand-cramping comments. There were also a woman's a small handful of comments directed toward specific extracurricular activities, girth-related comparisons and the like that, while funny, didn't really represent the level of crass originality Grainiums sought. We did find one, however, that we felt summed up the overall tone of the consuming public...

Grainiums presents the Award for the Most Sexist Comment - Writing Instrument Category: "A pen designed for a woman should not have a ball point. Only a man's pens should have balls in them. A pen designed for a woman should be a fountain."