Saturday, May 25, 2013

The Token Post


I've been asked on more than one occasion why I don't post blogs more frequently. This makes me feel good, knowing I have an audience that appreciates my humor/wit/sarcasm/etc. It also saddens me because as much as I'd like to post more blogs (blog more posts?), there's an element of timing I find necessary to impart my humor/wit/sarcasm/etc. upon the readers of Grainiums. It's been a tough year for Grainiums in that respect. My goal for posting has gone from at least twice a month to whenever I can, with "can" more often than not being influenced by outside events.

It seems like society has been overtaken by a classroom of weavers making hand baskets to take us to hell in. Mass shootings in schools, mass shootings during parades, mass shootings in churches (however you want to read that is fine). There was the bombing at the Boston Marathon, family members stabbing each other, neighbors holding neighbors hostage, Kim Kardashian's pregnancy... With all that's going on, it's kind of difficult to shoehorn a bit of social irreverence (or irrelevance) into such a narrow window of opportunity. Plus, it's hard to find eyes to poke sharp sticks into when all the eyes are focused in other directions.

It's hard to say why society is in the state it's in. Clearly there are high degrees of unrest, low degrees of self-esteem, and moderate degrees of global instability. Religious leaders and their followers will swear it's a lack of faith in their particular god. Sociologists will point to deterioration of the family structure and a social disconnect caused by our dependence on the Internet (except here). Psychologists will irrationally determine we don't have an emotional grip on our day-to-day existence and that we need more drugs. Educators will blame parents. Unions will blame employers. Old people will blame these kids today. Everyone's got a finger to point, yet very few realize when you point a finger at something you have three fingers pointing back at you.

When I point my finger at you and say,
“You’re awesome!”, there are three fingers 
pointing back at me.

We need to settle down, people. I need to get back to a workable level of functional dysfunction. Half of the voices in my head are unemployed. And, no, it's not Obama's fault. I feel lost. I need to know there are still security guards at airports feeling up old ladies so I can fly safely at 20,000 feet. I want to feed off the concern and speculation about the bad influence Justin Bieber will have on Chris Brown. I miss feminist outrage, homophobic paranoia, and panic over nut allergies. And no, the latter two are not related. I long to see more pictures of kids who got expelled from school because of a bad haircuts. School administrators justifying suspensions for hair style or hair color is fucking ridiculous! But it's shit like that what makes this machine called a noggin run.

I'm confident things will settle down soon enough and I'll get the grain miners back to work. So bear with me and remember: making light of the world during times of crisis is about as inappropriate as having a clown at a funeral.

Unless it's a clown funeral. I suppose that would be okay. Actually, the image of a lengthy procession of clowns climbing out of a hearse one after another after another after another...